NOSREDNA SESSIM

Mrs Anderson may have been a better teacher than I thought she was...hmm, no,...Mrs Anderson was a pretty nice person, a so so teacher, but we probably could have given her more respect than we did. I think part of the problem was that the second year we had her, the class was at 7:20 AM, much too early to be conjugating verbs or memorizing declensions of nouns. Many of us slept. We all had our poses. Mine was book on desk, shoulders on desk, hands creating a blind around my face so she couldn't see my eyes. We stayed just concious enough to hear her call on us, we didn't know the answers anyway, well I didn't, and I presumed the only two who did were Mike and possibly Kevin. Gina, I remember was a lush, though I didn't know what that was at the time. And poor poor Keenan. Mrs. Anderson should have paid more attention. Cheating was rampant, not that it helped me much, The times I cheated I did poorly anyway. Mrs. Anderson spoke several languages, she just could not figure out how to motivate us, perhaps she should have immersed us, like on the first day when we learned that "Flavia cantat dum Cornelia dormiet", or was it "dormiebat", i mean that was interesting. "Ago bene, et tu?" how can you forget that? Mrs. Anderson was a pretty cool teacher though, she wasn't mean to us, she let us spend all of the Latin club money on a float, and on a trip to the Getty museum, maybe it was because Latin is a dead language that made the subject harder, or was it her accent, I don't know. I would say Mrs Anderson was not a bad teacher, but she wasn't a very good one either, at least in Latin.

SCREW-BALL

This is my afore-mentioned screw-ball. It was a Stocking-stuffer Christmas present from my grandparents several years ago, and it is one of the most useful little tools I have ever owned. It has two phillips, two flat, two hex, and two star ends which makes it very useful. I have used it to install a mirowave/range hood, an oven, a cooktop, and other appliances, (For a short time I was helping to install appliances for my company).

The screw-ball does not set off metal detecor at the county courthouse. I learned this becuase the first time I went into the courthouse I took my keys out and put them on a tray, and they said that I could not bring the SB in there, somthething about not allowing tools (moronic) so I hid it in some bushes and came back for it later, luckily it was still there. The next time I was on errand to the courthouse I decided to just leave it in my pocket and see what happened...and nothing did, no alarms went off, no pat down, etc., so didn't have to stash it in the bushes. Anyhow, it just leads me to believe that the people running things are none too bright.

I suppose if you had all of the tools sticking out of it, and threw it at someone, it might do some damage, but I dont think you could hijack a courthouse with it.

The Screw-ball in attack mode

THE KIDNAPPER VAN

This is the "kidmapper van." At least that is how "the guys" here at the shop refer to it. (note the fact that there are NO windows in the back, and it is unmarked) In reality it is not used to napp any kids, rather, it used to house a $20,000 carpet cleaning machine. One night some people hopped over into the yard and hot wired it, then they rammed the gate down with it and drove away(it is nigh invulnerable). Several days later the van was recovered, but without the cleaning machinery. For a while it served to haul a few things here and there, or if the Toyota was being used I would have to use it to go pull permits or what have you. One morning I used it to back into my boss' new Chevy truck, he was the quite the opposite of pleased, but as you can see, I am still alive.

I really am not the best back-er upp-er in the world. I hit and bent an aluminum fence postwith the Chevy 1-ton, and one time I backed into my dad's trailer in my old Ford Taurus, but I have gotten better at reversing. I was practicing for a while by backing into my driveway at home...which is a pretty tight fit, which is why I stopped doing it.

I think I must have gotten a bad gene. My sister has it too, she backed into my moms car one time, or rather, backed along...she left lines of white scratch marks down the length of my mother's red car. The kicker was when she told my mom, "Well, at least my car is alright!"

Anhow, I think they are asking $8,000 for the kidnapper van, let me know if you are interested.

Our beloved kidnapper van

The building block of modern society.

SR. ABY D. NAC

So here I am, just sitting, after spending a majority of the day working on plans for a new house that my company will be building, zoning, staring down the last mini Hershey's bar left after my spectaculous three day binge, though I still have the better part of half of a bag of rollo's, when i notice the number on the side for nutrition information. Come on now, I already know the stuff is bad for me, I don't need an eight hundred number to tell me that. I like the aesthetic though.

This leads me to a question, a survey if you will...what food product has the best packaging? and why?

also, how many carbs are there in the mini-sized Hershey bar? first one to get it right wins!!

ZEN

As I sit here comfortably full after eating my Sunrise Kitchen special plate with sweet and sour pork, I look around the office to find something interesting to show you. And am mystically, or magically drawn to the candle I bought from "A" at the Green Goddess and the small Zen Garden that someone gave to "I" who than gave it to me. On a side note, I learned a new Blogging skill from "D" which allows me to talk about people without giving their names, but yet, if they happen to visit my Blog, they will know who I am talking about....cool huh? thanks "R" :)

so anyway, the first time I Zenned, I took all the rocks out of it...mind you this was a much larger small version of an actual Zen garden than the one I have currently, like the Buddhist monks would use if they were smurfs. Suprisingly, I have met quite a few Buddhist Monks in my lifetime...they do this really cool thing with their voices where they can produce two tones at the same time...sometimes I experiment with it, I use the syllable Wah-naa--whooaaa, I think I might be close...maybe i should join up, anyhow I took all of the rocks out of it and then made a very elaborate pattern in the sand with the rake, then I put down the rocks, back into the sand. It was very aestheticall pleasing, in fact I really impressed my buddhist friend, that is until it was discovered that I took out the rocks. "You aren't supposed to take the rocks out...that's part of the whole point" Well whatever, I think you can do it however you want to do it...isn't that kind of what the whole Zen thing is about, finding your own way??

The candle is nice too, but I dont't have a nifty story to go along with it. I have been getting compliments on how nice It makes the office smell, but I also have been craving sweets alot more too. Albertson's had a two for five dollar special on bags of candy, and I bought a bag of Rollo's and a bag of Hershey's miniatures...they are mostly gone now.

My ZEN garden and butterscotch candle

WEDNESDAY'S EMERGENCY POST

This is Wednesday's emergency "I have not posted in several days and my readers need something to amuse themselves post" so with that in mind ...things smell like eggroll...and peanut butter. Many of you do not know why things smell like eggroll and peanutbutter. I will tell you. Wednesday is the long day, that is, i get up early...well, i get up late and go to work, work all day, then scramble to get to school in time which is even harder because somone stole my bicycle which was locked to my truck while I was at work one day, mind you I was out of town that day...anyhow, i have class on this day every week from 5:30 to 10:00 and it drags, well at least it drags in the first class, but not the second. Anyhow, The girl who sits next to me and I both bring snacks and today I brought peanut butter and she brought, well another girl in the clas bought her an eggroll, thusly the smell of the two mixed and that is why it smells like peanut butter and eggroll.

well, i know it is pathetic, but hopefully it will tie you masses of readers over until I can put up a better, more thoughtful and insightful post, like I normally would.

I would like to thank the beautiful and talented "S" for the use of her laptop for this post. Anyhow, i need to concentrate on the lecture now, see you later.

OPERATION LOUVER SEEKER: SUCCESS!

Operation louver seeker has been a complete success!! The component in question was discovered I.E.T. (in enemy territory [New Mexico]) and was captured and transported via convoy to H.Q. upon request of Commander Seargent 1st class Luke Youngs. Upon arrival to H.Q. louver alpha was secured inside bunker October-Gemini and guarded in preperation to the F.I.M. (final installation mission) It was In the C.M.A. (crisp morning air) of April 7th, 1st Leutenant Double Major General TJ Benjamin Rese completed mission: skyhawk, which was the key installation of defense louver alpha to Unit Epsilon Gamma. With the unit now fully operational H.Q. is now able to defend intself against probable U.V.L (ultra-violet light) attacks over the next several months. Dismissed.

A fully clotheed Aireze evaporative cooler

BIZARRE BURGER BIZZARE

Hello, and welcome to my Blog. Today's entry is a "Shakedown" of the major fast food burger places around. I initially tried to do a double-blind experiment, but was unable for two reasons:

1. Having all those blind people in one room is dangerous, they pretty much end up fencing with their canes, and knocking stuff over.
2. I don't know any blind people, well, I do know a couple blind people, but just as acquaintances, and I didn't have their phone numbers

So with that in mind let us continue...worst to best style:

The Enemy - Right before the summer of 2001 there was a special on McNuggets. McNuggets were the only thing that I would eat from The Enemy, as the times previous that I had eaten burgers had ended badly. However, this would be my last encounter with McNuggets, or anything else from The Enemy for several years. Basically, I ended up spending the next two days kneeling before the porcelain altar, offering up anything that I dared to try to eat or drink. Luckily I was feeling good enough to go to China, but not good enough to eat anything but Con-ji (rice porridge) and fried rice for the first several days. The thing I learned from this incident was that if you keep drinking water while throwing up, the bad taste eventually goes away, and regurgitating water is much more fulfilling than dry heaving. It would be three years before I ventured to eat any food from The Enemy, and when I did, it turned out badly again. The one thing that I will eat from there is the soft-serve cones, they are scrum-diddly-umptios, and if you go to Bakersfield, you can get them dipped!

Carl’s Jr. - Now I can stand Carl’s. Actually, I have even been craving it within the last several weeks. My favorite has always been the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger, except for a short span between 1999-2003 when I did not eat there. When I was in High School, going out for the track team, I could eat one of these puppies and still be hungry, and not feel any ill effects. My last three have filled me up, unsettled my stomach, and made me have strange dreams (Don't eat right before you go to bed). But, these problems are more associated with my tendency to chew once and swallow, than with the quality of the food. The drawback to Carl’s is that their Sandwiches are much more expensive than the ones of their competitors.

Burger King – I don’t eat burgers very often these days, but when I do, I seldom choose Burger King. I think part of the reason is because their ads of late are kind of freaky, I mean, there is one where the guy wakes up next to the “King” and the “King” offers him breakfast...frankly if I woke up and there was a guy with a plastic face dressed like a king next to me, I would either run for my life or start kickin’ some *$$. In another one the guy is peering in through the windows early in the morning. Since when did voyeurism sell hamburgers? But the whopper is still a good burger for the money; at least it has lettuce, tomatoes and a pickle.

Well this is getting too long so I will add more, or part II at a later time.

2x Western Bacon Cheeseburger - aka Coronary in bun

NATALIE LYNN

me: "My eyes are cooler than your eyes"
her: "People tell me all the time that I have beautiful eyes"
me: "They tell me that all the time too"
her: "My eyes are much prettier than yours"
me: "no, mine are better"
her: "nuh-uh"
me: "What are you talking about? people say I have beautiful eyes"
her: "Well, MORE people tell me I have beautiful eyes, and so I say 'thank you'and flirt with them"
me: "whatever"
her: "fine"
me: "FINE"
her: "WHATEVER"
me: "can I have your guacomole?"

later...from her car, shouting across the parking lot (trying to embarass me)...

her: "I LOVE YOU LUKE YOUNGS! ...HONEY...I LOVE YOU.....I LOVE YOU LUKE!!!

She's a sweetie

"My eyes are prettier than yours"

YO TENGO UN TACO PoR FAVOR

Today I ate at the taco truck (like the one pictured below). Normally these trucks drive up and down the streets in the morning and serve breakfast burritos to the poor Joes and Joses that don't have a Jane or Maria at home to make them breakfast. They also visit construction sites in the afternoon. Usually they have a horn that plays a tune, like "The Mexican Hat Dance" or "La Cookaracha" or "Dixie" or "The overture from William Tell" or "Gustav Holst: The Planets." La Cookaracha is my favorite, becuase Cookaracha is the same as Cockaroach, and that is why we in the construction business call them "Roach Coaches". It is always a good idea to associate your resturant business with scavenging insects because it proves that all the food gets cleaned up one way or another. Anyhow, the one we ate at was immaculate, so I was in no fear for my stomach as I ate my "asada" "tacos." The owners of the taco trucks (one served seafood and the other served all the normal stuff) have bought a corner lot on a busy street and built a nice concrete parking lot with a covered patio to eat under, as well as restrooms, very clean, very nice. My co-workers ordered: "Se hable dos tacos sequentia poquito inglesia campesina yo soy mi vaca cabesa est in la banyo bonita." and of course the reply was "see, est muy grande por suerte est mi nombre" then she turns to me and says "Can I take your order?" So I ordered my tacos in English...but i was jealous of all the "spanish skills". Anyhow, i realize that this is probably not as amusing to you as it was to me, but seeing as these are my inanae ramblings... Anyhow, my stomach is now full of tacos. And I learned that you can put radished on tacos, something I have never done before. I am so daring.

La Cookaracha, La Cookaracha!!